This blog has come out of grief - losing 2 of my beloved dogs Mazar & Evelyn in a 2 week period has broken me but whilst there is a lot of support out there for humans, for our dogs there isn’t a lot of guidance.
Along with my sadness I have 4 grieving dogs - each dog meant something different to each remaining. With Mazar his time was coming, age was not on his side and so I think the dogs had a sense of this but their reaction to me returning with him was profound. As we navigated this and tried to do things in his memory to help us all we experienced the sudden unexpected blow with Evelyn dying too. I will write about her as she deserves a tribute and maybe that will be next whilst I navigate our loss. It is a little too hard at the moment.
Grief is a powerful emotion that affects us all, and it's something our canine companions can experience too. Whether it's the loss of a human family member, another pet, or even a significant change in their lives, dogs can exhibit signs of mourning that are heartbreaking to witness. As their devoted owners, understanding and supporting them through this difficult time is crucial. This blog has come out of a desire to try and help my dogs, especially my dog Seren who has taken the loss of her sister Evelyn very hard.
Just like humans, dogs form deep bonds and can feel the absence of a loved one profoundly. While they may not express it with words, their behaviour often speaks volumes. Recognising the signs of grief in your dog – which can include lethargy, loss of appetite, changes in sleep patterns, increased vocalisation, or even destructive behaviour – is the first step towards offering them comfort. For Seren especially it is lack of interest in walks and a real depression, the others are all acting different too with changes to their behaviour.
With patience, understanding, a gentle approach and of course time, you can significantly help your dog navigate their grief and begin to heal and hopefully help yourself too.
Practical Ways to Support Your Grieving Dog:
Here are ten specific ways you can help your dog through their mourning process:
- Maintain Routine (as much as possible): Dogs thrive on routine. While it might be tempting to change everything, sticking to established feeding times, walk schedules, and play sessions can provide a sense of security and normalcy in a time of upheaval.
- Offer Extra Comfort and Affection: Your dog needs you now more than ever. Provide extra snuggles, gentle petting, and reassuring words. Physical closeness can be incredibly soothing.
- Encourage Gentle Exercise: Short, frequent walks can help your dog release pent-up energy and provide a change of scenery. Avoid highly stimulating environments if they seem overwhelmed. With Seren she is managing better with 1 on 1 walks rather than group ones so that is something to bare in mind if you have a multi-dog household.
- Engage in Familiar, Low-Stakes Play: If your dog usually loves to play, try to initiate some gentle, familiar games. Don't force it, but offer the opportunity for a bit of distraction and joy. Yesterday we threw abandon to arthritis and Seren and I enjoyed some good old fashioned ball play - did it help her yes it certainly did. Is it the best thing for her physically … no but that currently is the least of my worries.
- Provide a Safe, Quiet Space: Ensure your dog has a designated "den" or quiet corner where they can retreat and feel secure. This might be their crate, a cozy bed, or a favorite spot in a quiet room.
- Consider Calming Aids Like Essential Oils: Some favourites I discussed in another blog post, you can diffuse them or apply with gentle massage or stroking or a mix of both, ask your pet what they want - remember to always offer with the lid on. Pop to my Essential Oils Store to get these pet safe oils.
- Be Patient and Understanding: Grief is not a linear process. There will be good days and bad days. Avoid scolding your dog for out-of-character behavior and instead respond with patience and empathy.
- Introduce New Stimuli Slowly: If the loss was another pet, you might consider introducing a new scent or object associated with the deceased, but only if your dog seems ready and it doesn't cause distress. This is a delicate balance.
- Socialization (if appropriate): For some dogs, a gentle introduction to a calm, well-behaved dog friend can provide a positive distraction. Ensure both dogs are comfortable and supervised.
- Seek Veterinary Guidance: If your dog's grief symptoms are severe, prolonged, or if they stop eating or drinking, it's crucial to consult your veterinarian. They can rule out any underlying medical issues and offer further advice, potentially including medication in severe cases.
Don't Forget the Owner: Supporting Yourself Through Shared Grief
It's vital to remember that if your dog is grieving, chances are you are too. The bond we share with our pets is incredibly strong, and their loss can be as devastating as losing a human family member. Allow yourself to feel your emotions, seek support from friends, family, or support groups, and be kind to yourself. Your dog needs you to be strong, but that doesn't mean you have to be stoic. Leaning on each other through this challenging time can strengthen your bond and help both of you on the path to healing. I have a written love letters to both dogs, talking about things we enjoyed and how much I miss them. I have also written buckets lists for those dogs past and my 4 still here.
Maz had a pretty complete one and Evie by some luck had had a great 6 days of fun but I wrote the lists to remember what they liked to do so that I can still do those activities to honour them and also pick things for my other dogs to lift them up too and make sure they have fun.
I have received a lot of comfort from good friends who have listened to me cry and just let me cry. I also have utilised the amazing support at the Blue Cross Bereavement Line - I really recommend it.
I have also embarked on a Pet Loss course which is helping me come to terms with the shock of Evelyns passing on top of the grief of the loss of both.
My grief is overwhelming at times, I don’t like this new normal and this is a loss that will change everything for me in so many ways but as I sit here diffusing some Wild Orange for upliftment and look at photos of my gorgeous dogs I at least want to make my other dogs happy and I hope this helps you too.
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Information given here is not intended as a substitute for medical or veterinary consultation - the author has no liability nor responsibility with respect to any issues occurring out of use such as damage, loss, injury.